Friday, December 19, 2008

My Life in a Nutshell: Mixed Blessings

Bah humbug! Though I really am feeling festive in general, there are a few things pertaining to Christmas, winter and busy holiday times in general that need to escape from my mind before they sour the Christmas spirit within. Please forgive me while I vent...

Radio stations that switch to 100% "holiday" music beginning on Black Friday - Come on... Is that really necessary? It just gives me the creeps.

Christmas cards covered with glitter - Where do I begin? They are pretty and they surely share warm wishes, but man are they messy! Surely I would rather receive a beglittered card than none at all... wouldn't I? I mean, isn't it more important to participate in Christmas tradition and "goodwill towards man" than be able to leave the house without a trail of glimmery powder showering from any part of you that inadvertently brushed against the offending salutation? I'd hope so, but I can't be sure.

The indiscriminate and excessive use of the word "doorbuster" - I think this should be replaced by the phrase "checkout line extender" as it pertains to Christmas sales. No one is really busting a door to get in... they're just waiting an extra 30-90 minutes trying to get out. Unless of course the sale is at a store no will go to with any excitement anyway... like the pharmacy... in which case "doorbuster" should be replaced with "inconsequential".

Pixos, Moon Sand and Kota the (giant, electronic, and expensive) Triceratops - Like many kids, my kids watch TV. And they see commercials. The aforementioned toys have been heavily advertised this year and my 4 year old (still an innocent, unspoiled child) has been seduced by the colorful catchy promotions. Damn you, product marketing! But at least I have learned that starting in early November, On Demand and DVR will pay for themselves if you can use them to avoid commercials all together. Not that we are purchasing any of those toys for the hopeful child, but we will now have to try twice as hard to find other gifts that are equally enthralling.

Commercials by pet stores advertising "memorable" gifts for your pet - How memorable can a pet gift be? My guess is that any gift you could give your pet would be decidely less memorable to a dog than the aroma of another dog's nether end. What do you think?

Well, that was cathartic. Now I can go about my business and stop feeling disgruntled when I hear the words in traditional Christmas carols changed to become generic holiday tunes. I encourage you to find out what irks you about the holidays and get it out before you turn into a Scrooge. Merry Christmas and God bless us, every one!


Reenie said...

Loved the post Karen!!

1. I KNOW!! I considered posting this same complaint... or maybe I did.
2. Hmmm, guess I don't have any glitter ones... and I will try to refrain from adding glitter to yours.
3. No kidding
4. Not applicable
5. I KNOW!! I laughed out loud at this one because I keep hearing it and thinking it might be the most ridiculous thing I've heard! There is no such thing as a "memorable" pet gift!!
You're the best!

Karen said...

This brings me to an important side note (or comment, as it may be): I am not knocking anyone who sent me a glittery Christmas card! Just saying there must have been government incentives to use more of it because there is an EPIDEMIC in our mailbox and I certainly do not need to buy any shimmery holiday makeup because I'll be wearing glitter to every holiday party until 2099 whether I like it or not. So I shouldn't complain because it's actually saving me money in this crummy economy :)